Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Climbing Grades: Advantages, Disadvantages, and Your Sex Life.

More Insight From Scotty Glasberg>> Asana Athelete

Grades have been classifying our the difficulty of outdoor activities since the early 20th Century. The Sierra Club in the 1930’s categorized activity harder than class 4 hiking as class 5 rock climbing. This “Rock Climbing” involves technical free climbing involving a belay and a rope. Later, a young Gymnast and Mathematician was one of the first rock Climbers to legitimize bouldering as a sport in itself. John Gill developed the B Scale, classifying boulder problems into 3 levels: B1 is defined as the harder than the traditional free climb. B2 was something harder than that, where B3 was something that had not been repeated. In the early 1990’s John Sherman developed the V-scale to rate boulder problems, this is still in effect today. Throughout history climbers have been pushing the limits of physical strength on rock. In the 1950’s a V7 was in effect, the occasional V9 move was executed, but nothing was ever thought to be graded as such. In the 1970’s pioneers like Jim Holloway regularly cranked V12. Holloway still has problems that have not seen a second. You can take It as you want, but this whole grading thing, has gone a little bit out of control.
Grades are stepping stones for the modern climber. There are advantages and disadvantages of Rock Climbing Grades. First things first an analogy:
You go to your local surf shop and check out a surf guide. You notice that most of the surf spots around you are for beginners, but you’ve been surfing your whole life, and you want some gnarl waves to get shacked in. You turn the pages reading further, and find the perfect spot: big waves, shallow reefs, and this beach is known for the hot ladies or men (depending on your sex) tanning on the shore. Hold this picture… Let’s take this back to rock climbing. Climbing grades provide insight into what an area has to offer. You wouldn’t take a novice climber to a cliff that has 5.12 warm ups, nor would an advanced climber ideally want to go to a spot with everything below 5.12. The novice would have a hard time having his/her tendons holding up, and the advanced climber would have no fun working routes. Grades like surf spots have different levels of difficulty. An advantage to grades is that they provide the climber with the most opportune climbing for their ability. Grades can provide a safe atmosphere suiting a climber’s ability. Grades can save your life, and can also save your tendons.
Now what disadvantages do climbing grades pose? The relentless pursuit of climbing the hardest grades makes us lose sight in the natural enjoyment of climbing. Wouldn’t it be nice to walk up to a route and climb just for the fact it’s beautiful line? If too hard no grade would be there to serve as a disadvantage. Point being, besides personal experiences, there is no real reference chart for grading climbs. It depends on the style of the climber, and their motivation to succeed. This is why some of the best climbers don’t grade their climbs, there is no concrete logic behind grading, they want everyone to try it. There is reason for everyone to climb what they want to climb, and a number shouldn’t dictate that. In some ways grading is disadvantageous to the sport of climbing. I mean, Midnight Lightning wasn’t established because the grade would be tough, Midnight Lightning was established because John “Yabo” Yablonski , Bachar, Kauk, and who ever else was there had the passion and imagination to climb something futuristic. All they knew, was that it was hard. John Gill’s early B1, B2, B3 is hard to apply to today’s bouldering standards because we have pushed the standards in sport and traditional climbing very high. I do find a similar scale to be quite suitable: Beginner, Intermediate, Advanced, and Super Advanced scale could give climbers a larger spectrum that takes away the hype of high grades and could be designed to translate well from modern standards.
The V scale and the YDS have obviously gone out of control. High Grading techniques and ability to climb them is now used to attract the opposite sex. This new increase in grades is obviously evolution in mating techniques for the modern climbing savage. When I first arrived in Hueco Tanks in 2006 I was told that if I wanted a lady, a had to send V10 first.
“Why was this?” I asked myself.
Is it the muscles on a V10 climber? Is it their superior wisdom? Or is it the size of their “crash pad”? These plus many factors are why the screams of an expert climber attract the opposite sex while in heat. First, we like those that are competent, or almost perfect. Socially Psychologically proven, those who are perfect, that commit a small blunder are dubbed more attractive. When sending for the opposite sex, make sure you make a very stupid mistake the first burn, and send it the next. This is sure to result in an intense mating ritual, and if not increases your attractiveness.
Another strategy used by the wild animal sender is their overall ability to help those around them progress. We are attracted to those that help us progress rather than assist our downfall. When the savage beast sender completes a difficult route, his/her attractiveness rises a considerable amount. Those around him/her can deduce that the savage can in fact teach them how to climb well and survive in the wild climbing world. When out at the cliff, make sure you spot these wild animals and protect your significant other, or these beasts may end up wooing him/her over.
In conclusion, we can recognize that grades can provide a safe haven and fun atmosphere for the progressing climber. Also notice that grades can deter from the natural enjoyment of climbing: We climb what looks beautiful and challenging for us. We have also recognized that climbing hard can increase attractiveness. By climbing hard routes your chances of pro-creation increase considerably. Competence and looking Progressive are the keys to attracting the opposite sex. Maintain those guidelines and you will be able to survive in this wild climbing world.

2 comments:

Mike McClure said...

Preach it brotha! Kind of reminds me of the climbing version of that Teenage Guide to Popularity song from the 90's. Grades aren't all bad, some people might find more enjoyment in chasing numbers than you but that does not mean it's wrong. Try to keep an open mind about these things and to each his own.

Joe said...

Dude-bro, grades are wack! Wait, grades are esential. Hold on, grades are arbitrary...

WTF, this post is about scoring at the crag!

I am sure all of our grade founding fathers would be amused.